How to Live When You Feel like Dying Part 3: Soul Connection Trauma
Soul Connection Trauma
I have been through what you’re going through now. I understand the agony, the ungodly, unrelenting energetic chaos, the pull of your soul to theirs, the non-stop recurring dreams of them, the signs everywhere that only remind you of them, the heart chakra pain, the anxiety, the depression, and the feeling that you will never get through this. I want you to know that you will. But it’s going to take work on your part. You can’t give into it. You can’t wait for happiness. You have to create it yourself.
Once you meet a soul connection, your life will never be the same: It shatters you, turns you inside out, changes your cellular DNA, awakens your spiritual gifts, forces you to face your demons, unveils your shadow, drags you through a Dark Night of the Soul that will feel like death, opens your eyes to synchronicity, clears your karma, heals you, and leaves you sobbing in a pool of tears, praying to God to make the pain and ultimately, the bond to your twin go away. Your friends and family won’t understand what you’re going through. You will feel judged and ashamed that you can’t just move on and starting dating random people. You will feel crazy and obsessed. You will feel delusional. You will feel emotionally unbalanced. You will feel like a walking ball of electricity. You will read everything you can about Twin Flames and soul mates, and you still won’t have a clue what you’re experiencing. Nothing will make sense.
You won’t want to kill yourself, but you don’t want to live, so you end up existing. You will wake up every day and it will feel like a curse. You will swear at the Universe/God for destroying the life you used to know. You will resent people who are in easy regular relationships. When you tell somebody you love this person, they will tell you it’s time to move on. They will tell you it’s not meant to be. You will fall into a deeper depression. It will feel like an abyss that you’re stumbling into and nothing can stop you from falling deeper. You wonder how far you are from hitting bottom. You’ve always considered yourself a sexual person, but now the thought of having casual sex with somebody makes you nauseous. So where do you go from here? You have two options: You can allow this spiritual journey destroy you, or you can let it strengthen and change you. You have all the power, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
I am not like other bloggers/Twin Flame experts: I will not tell you what you want to hear. I don’t believe in Twin Flame magical thinking, because I know how destructive it can be. I don’t believe that a spiritual connection gives you a reason to wait for reunion. I don’t think a connection should ever interfere with your happiness. I have seen enough blogs and stories of people who spend years pining over a Twin Flame to know how detrimental this is to a person’s well being and ultimate quality of life. Even if this person is the other half of your soul (if that’s your belief), what happens to you when your twin isn’t ready? What happens to you when they don’t want to be part of your life? What happens to you when they don’t feel the connection the way you do? What happens to your life? Now let’s say you believe that they’re “running”, so you blame them. You think “they’re not ready, because they fear love and they don’t believe they are worthy. They don’t want to do the work. They don’t want to spiritually awaken. They’re in another relationship because it’s easy. They’re not even happy with this person, but they stay because they’re scared of the connection we have.” Okay, that’s fine if you believe this, but now what? Where does this leave you? Ask yourself “What am I doing to improve my life? What am I doing to bring joy into my life without my twin?” If you can’t answer or don’t know, then you have work to do. It’s time to put the focus back on you.
Since the Universe is made up entirely of energy, you have to learn how to work with the Universal Laws. If you focus all your time and energy on this spiritual connection, you will only push the person away and stagnate the energy of the connection you have with them. Basically you have to do the opposite of what feels right. Since the energy of a Twin Flame connection is so powerful and intense, your instinct is to only think and worry about them. But the more you think about them, the more obsessed you will become, and the less the energy between you two will flow. The only way to stop obsessing is to create outlets to pour your energy into. The goal is to pull away the energy from your Twin Flame, so you are able to dive into your passions and focus on your life purpose, whatever that may be.
You have been awakened by your twin, so that you will begin your mission. This mission may be spiritual, but it doesn’t have to be. It could be as simple as “you need to start writing”, or “you need to create a community of people with shared interests.” But it could also be “you need to become a healer, so you can heal others”, or “you need to become a yoga teacher to help people spiritually connect.” Your mission is unique. A spiritual obsession with your twin will only keep you distracted from this mission. If you are currently feeling this obsession, it’s okay. Be gentle with yourself. You can slowly pull your energy away from them, which will release the obsession. It may take time, but you can do it. Don’t get discouraged and be patient with your progress.
You may ask “But what about them? I want to be with them in a physical relationship?’ I want to be in union.” This is understandable. The more you balance your energy, which requires lots of grounding and the more you focus on you, that’s when the energy between you and your twin starts moving again. At this point, there will be a chance of reunion. In many cases, twins choose to stay separated. In those instances, a new soul connection will come into your life, and believe it or not, the relationship can be just as fulfilling. Another soul connection will feel like home, just as you felt with your twin. It may not be the same love, but it will be just as beautiful and Divine. Trust in what the Universe has in store for you. But at this point, you don’t have to worry about any of this. The only thing you have to start working on is your energy and yourself. That’s it. Release your fears to the Universe. Ask your Spirit Guides and Angels to take away your anxiety and sleepless nights. Let them handle the heavy stuff. Your goal at this time needs to be refocusing your energy on you and finding your passions and creating new ones. This is how you rebuild on an energetic level after devastation and trauma.
My yoga teacher always says “no rush” in the most calming, soothing voice, particularly during our flow, where everything naturally speeds up. And I think about that phrase outside of class from time to time, when I feel stress and want to rush, or I have that fight or flight anxious feeling. Use those words as your mantra in your journey. Cultivating patience with yourself and your healing is important. There is no rush. You are exactly in the right place at the right time at all times. Do not compare your journey with others. Embrace your spiritual path. It is as beautiful and special as you. Whatever you need, ask the Universe to provide, and if you believe, it will naturally flow to you.